A date that will live in infamy!
by Fabius Maximus
Summary: There will be sorrow...darkness...evil... rnNah.  There will be amusement and annoyance...and this is one date that's not gonna make it into anyone's authorized biography... PG for very mild suggestive scenes.  PS: Check out my work on FictionPress.Com.
1. Default Chapter

_A date that will live in infamy._

* * *

"YES!" Ron Stoppable said, grinning from ear to ear, as he got off the celphone (just barely avoiding the giant robot monkey that was heading for the LA Museum's "History of Monkey Magic" exhibited.

"ZITA SAID YES, KP! WE'RE GOING ON A DATE!"

"Focus, Ron!" Kim shouted as she ducked another Monkey Ninja.

"Oh, right," Ron said, and than abruptly stumbled back, over the exhibit Screaming, he lashed out to grab something…

And hit the emergency fire sprinkler control. Water filled the room…the robot monkey sparked, fell over and shut down. The monkeys squealed in annoyance…and Monkey Fist glared at them both.

"How dare you do this!" He said, back flipping away to the entrance, his formal tuxedo contrasting with his hands and feet.

"I'm ready for you!" Kim said.

"Well, you'll just have to wait." He said, reaching out and brushing himself off. "I have a wine tasting today, and if this gets wet I'll have to have it dry cleaned again. Good day!" He turned and left. "Monkey Ninjas…follow me! We still have to pick up the cheese and glasses."

"Oh no you don't!" Kim said, as Ron grabbed her.

"KP… I have to get back…for my date!"

"Can't you just teledate like you did last time?"

"Reality Check KP… this is a real date." He paused, "With Zita… BOOYAH!"

Kim looked over as the Monkey Ninjas were also leaving… some of them glaring at her as they tried to wring their uniforms out. She could get them and… Kim felt a sneeze coming on.

Heck with it. Monkey Fist could wait and in any case he probably wouldn't get into too much trouble at a wine tasting.

"OK Ron… let me guess, you want me to cash in a favor… in a passenger jet this time."

"BOO YAH!"

* * *

_The Evil Lair._

"Shego!" Drakken shouted in Evil (or stupid) joy. Shego sighed and put away her crossword puzzle. Actually, she was supposed to be taking Drakken's speech down, but she had discovered that all of his rants were the same, just change the proper names and there you were.

"Yes, Dr. D?"

"Behold my newest acquisition!" He said, and held out a vial.

"What is it?"

"A mutant mosquito." Drakken said, "the henchmen—" he indicated two individuals who were covered in bites, "—recovered it from a small camp outside of Middleton… A camp that surrounded a lake full of toxic substances—they thought they cleaned it all up…but now, I have found the last repository of the mutagenic soup that once lay in the lake of Wannaweep!" Shego had been drinking a coke, and suddenly, Drakken found his face covered in the coke Shego had spewed out at the name.

"Problem, Shego?" Shego's eyes were huge.

"You… you….said….the word…." She got out.

"What word? Wannaweep?"

"AIGH!" Shego screamed, plugging her ears. "Stop saying it! Not that place!"

"Shego…it's a camp…"

"OF EVIL!" She returned. "When I was nine, mom made me go for a summer… it was right before the comet hit…and…and…. There were mosquitoes…big…terrible…glowing eyes…and things…in the dark…." Shego did exactly what she'd done on that terrible day, so long ago.

"Um….Shego." Drakken said, "Super villains aren't supposed to curl up in the corner and start sucking their thumbs." He paused, "Except for me, that is."

"Um…boss?" One of the henchmen said.

"What is it?"

"The bug… it like…just melted it's way out of the test tube." Drakken looked down, blinked and saw the bug, buzzing away.

"SHEGO! GET IT!"

"AIGH!" Shego jumped away from the flying insect, which noticing the movement buzzed towards here… disregarding her powers, her martial arts ability..and any coherent thought, Shego grabbed the crossword puzzle, and screaming hysterically, frantically waving it back and forth. "GET AWAY GETAWAY GETAWAY!" The bug did…and happily buzzed out the open window.

"My…my mutant mosquito…" Drakken said. Then, looking down at the paper's Shego had discarded, "Hey…These aren't my speeches!"

_To be continued._


	2. Chapter II

Chapter II

Authors notes: See, I don't only do angst!

Also, I'm working on some books for publication (as in money) and I've posted them over at so if you want go over and R&R. Not KP, sorry, but then, I don't think the Disney Corporation's lawyers would be understanding if they were.

* * *

"Oh man, Rufus… This is great!" Ron said. "Zita!" He struggled with his tie.

"First a movie, then dinner (and at a sit down resturaunt… ) and then back home..." Ron hopped up and down in glee "BOOYAH!" He looked at the clock. "Whups—almost time, buddy—I'll drop you off at Kim's." Rufus nodded. The _last_ thing the Molerat wanted to see was Ron and Zita doing Kissy Face.

"Blegh!"

At the Possible home, Kim was dealing with a fire sprinkler caused cold, when Ron rang the doorbell.

"Oday, Ron….I'll tade care of Rudus-ACHOO!" She sneezed explosively. Ron looked concerned.

"Hey KP…If you're sick…"

"Nod, don't woddy about it."

"OK…"

* * *

"The sensors indicate the insect is somewhere around here…" Drakken said. The stealth VTOL was hovering above Middleton. "Why does everything always come here?" he wondered out loud. Ah well, a mystery for _after_ he'd conquered the world.

"SHEGO!" Drakken shouted. "Are you ready?"

"Y-yes…" An oddly muffled voice came. Drakken turned. And stared.

Shego was wearing her skin tight suit…maybe. Over it, she was wearing a suit of the U.S. Army's MOPP 4 chemical/biological warfare suit. Over _that_ she had a beekeepers veil on…and in two bandoleers, she had at least a dozen cans of OFF.

"Shego…It's just a little… ah… mosquito of evil."

"Well, it's not going to get me!"

"Can you even walk in that get up?"

"Yes!" She said, and walked past Drakken… slowly. Shego looked down at the ground and frowned.

"Could you ah…just land this time?" Drakken sighed and touched the VTOL down, where Shego shambled out of it.

"Now…where's…the…the…"

"the bug Shego."

"Yes." She said, "Where is it so we can get it and then you lock it up and I go for a vacation."

"Sensors indicate…it's this way!" Drakken said, pointing towards down town.

* * *

At the movie, Zita was enjoying herself hugely. Ron was fun to be with—he didn't mind laughing, at the movie or himself, which to Zita was a plus—especially since he avoided the nasty ego that a lot of her fellow students had. He had an ego…but like everything else, wasn't really serious about it.

_I wonder why Kim doesn't try harder?_ Zita shrugged, _Her__ loss_. Then she almost snorted up her coke as Ron made an off color joke about the main character that had her laughing so hard ten people hissed at her.

* * *

"I'm sorry sir, you can't enter the theater without a ticket…and not in costume."

"She's not in costume!" Drakken roared. "She's….. suffering from Expedilous disorder, and if you discriminate against her, sir I will sue you and this establishment!"

"Oh…um…." The ticket agent remembered his lecture on that. "That's some super villain thing?"

"Yes."

"OK, but you still have to buy tickets." Drakken grumbled, and dug for some money.

"EIGHT FIFTY!" He roared again, "No wonder everybody's going to DVD and cable." As they walked away Drakken was rubbing his hands together.

"What is it, Dr. D." Shego's muffled voice came.

"He has freakishly moist hands…" Drakken shuddered.

"Now, about the mosquito." Shego looked wildly around, grabbing for some OFF.

"WHERE!"

"Not here, Shego!" Drakken snapped. "Inside the theater…. We will use my graviatomic ray generator to suck it into this container!" He showed a ray gun hooked up to a small vial. "And then, we will…"

"Enough, ENOUGH!" Shego said, "Let's just get the disgusting thing and get out of here!"

They entered the movie theatre.

"_Revenge of the Cows from Planet X?_" Drakken said in bemusement. "People _pay_ for this stuff? Maybe at some point I should make a hypnotic movie that will sway the-" He shook his head. "Focus, Drakken! Shego!"

"ssssssshhhhhhhhhh!" The back three rows hissed.

"Sorry."

* * *

"Ow!"

"Zita?" Ron asked. "What is it?"

"Something bit me!" Ron looked around. Then he blinked. A mosquito…one that was… glowing. Ron knew exactly what to do. He grabbed the empty bon bon box, made it into an impromptu swatter, and he took aim.

Drakken screamed hysterically.

"Shego! Stop him while I get it!"

"I got it!" Shego said and leapt lithely… and then tumbled over her unfamiliar booted feet and squawking, rolled down the aisle in a banging chorus of OFF cans. Ron blinked.

"SHEGO!" Ron shouted. Nobody hissed at Him—they all knew the drill, and this was generally more fun than a movie, although one little girl asked in a small voice: "Mommy, when is the funny red head going to show up?"

"Shush dear, and watch the floor show."

"Stay behind me, Zita!" Ron said. Zita, scratching her bite, didn't say anything. Then Drakken leaped up and pointed his raygun at the bug… not noticing Zita in the way.

"ZITA!" Ron screamed and pushed her aside, as Drakken activated it…and got every snack Ron had bought. And Ron had bought a lot. Drakken had barely a moment to wonder where the mosquito was, when he was hit by enough drinks, popcorn and candy to fill a small sized cargo ship.

"ACK!" He screamed as his gun overloaded and blew up, adding more mess to the mass covering him. Then, even worse…

"You…." Zita said in dawning rage, "You…ruined my DATE!"

At this point, Drakken learned two valuable lessons.

Puerto Rican girls have a temper. They are not adverse to showing it.

If you're the object of that temper…it's wise to be far, far away from them.

Suddenly, screaming Spanish obscenities, Zita leaped on top of the mad scientist, who started screaming like a little girl.

"HELP! Shego, HELP! OW OW OW!"

The mosquito, seeking a place away from all this disorder, found a small gap in a certain suit of protective clothing.

"Don't' worry Dr. D, I'…I….EEEEEK!" Shego screamed as she saw the bug fly right past her eyes, IN the suit! Suddenly, she was desperately clawing at the suit, flinging cans of OFF in all directions, her green energy claws helping get the suit off of her. Finally, she ripped the hood off, and flung it down the aisle. Still screaming, Shego terminated the mosquito with extreme prejudice, firing such a blast of energy that the hood, Mosquito, part of the floor…and the screen were vaporized, melted and/or set on fire.

"Will all patrons please proceed in a calm and orderly manner to the door." The manager said in a bored voice. This happened all the time, although usually it was Ron doing the frantic screaming. Meanwhile, Drakken was frantically crawling down the seat rows, a furious teenager after him.

"Ruin my date, will you? Come on out and fight!"

"Shego, HELP!" Shego ran and grabbed the doctor and backed off and Zita started throwing snacks at the two of them.

"I told you!" Shego said angrily, "I told you it was a place of EVIL! Nothing good can come from it!"

"You vaporized my mutant bug!" Drakken whined, "And I was beaten up by a teen!"

"You're always beaten up by a teen."

"Not one who isn't a superhero!"

"And furthermore!" Zita said, throwing a big gulp at Shego who ducked and some half melted ice cream cone at Drakken, who did, "Kim told me what you said about Ron and you'd better stop underestimating him!"

"Ah, Zita?" Ron said, "In this business… It's kind of good for me if they keep underestimating me!"

"Oh."

"Enough!" Drakken said, "We leave you now…but we will return…" He looked at his coat. "After I get this dry cleaned. Come Shego!"

"I killed that evil Bug…" Shego said, "At least the day isn't completely ruined." With that, they left the theater.

"Do you have any idea what that was about?" Zita asked.

"No… but I bet we will." Ron sighed, "So… the movies over, wanna go to my house for a while?"

"Sure… got any bug lotion? I'm kinda itching."

"I think we can find it." Ron said, grinning. Maybe she'd let him put it on, Boo-Yah!.

_To be continued._


End file.
